You have two cows...
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You have two cows...
Drai Fri Aug 01, 2008 12:31 am
While mindlessly searching the Uncyclopedia for funny articles, I came upon one that describles what would happen if you had two cows in assorted video games, including a long list for the FFs:
Final Fantasy
You have two cows. Only one cow was released in America because the company executives underestimated the popularity of cows in the American market.
Final Fantasy (2)
No one touches my two cows!! MILK WARRIORS?? You impertinent fools. I, Garland, will knock all your cows down!!
Final Fantasy IV
YOU SPOONY COW! SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
Final Fantasy V
You have two cows. They control the void.
Final Fantasy V (2)
You have two cows, you change their classes using the power of the crystals, teach them all $toss and wtfpwn the final boss.
Final Fantasy VI
You have two cows. You put one in a test tube and drain all its energy, making it suffer, and you kill the other and suck its energy after it died. You compare your results, discover that the second test worked better, and eat a nice, steak dinner.
Final Fantasy VI (2)
AHEM! There's SAND on my TWO COWS!
Final Fantasy VI (3)
You have two cows. Kefka Kills Your Cows BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!.
Final Fantasy VI (4)
You pitiful two cows! You sound like cows out of a self help booklet!
Final Fantasy VII
You have two cows. Their milk is the energy that keeps the Planet alive.
Final Fantasy VII (2)
You have two cows. Masses of fanboys come and trample them.
Final Fantasy VII (3)
You have two cows. Theyre Basically just Cubes With Sticks For Legs.
Final Fantasy VII (4)
You see that cow? To you, it looks like an ordinary cow. But I see a golden shiny cow of hope.
Final Fantasy VII (5)
Sit your two cows asses down in those chairs and drink some goddamn MILK!
Final Fantasy VII (6)
You have two cows. One of them dies, but everybody around the world thinks you can revive it somehow.
Final Fantasy VIII
You have two cows. ...whatever.
Final Fantasy VIII (2)
You have two cows. One exists in the present, and the other exists in the future and possesses the present cow. You come to realize they are actually the same cow, but you kill the future one anyway.
Final Fantasy IX
You have two cows. They have a mission to disrupt the life cycle of the cow.
Final Fantasy IX (2)
You have two cows. Do they have tasty munchies?
Final Fantasy X
You have two cows. One of them is just a dream. The other has been dead the entire game.
Final Fantasy X (2)
You have two cows. Sin kills them for using machina.
Final Fantasy XI
You start the game and are given two cows. You find out that it takes roughly 1 million cows to level up and roughly 5 million cows to get decent equipment. You quit the game in a day, finding out that only 10 people on your server have this many cows.
Final Fantasy XI (2)
You sell cows and speak poor English. Everyone hates you.
Final Fantasy X-2
Shinra tells you you have two cows. He doesn't know what that means because he's just a kid. People are dancing.
Final Fantasy X-2 (2)
You have two cows. One wants to destroy the world using Vegnacow, and the other has been comatose underwater all this time.
Final Fantasy XII
You have two cows. Unfortunately, you don't have the license to use two cows.
Final Fantasy XII (2)
You have two cows. One tells only lies, and the other is BASCH FON RONSENBURG OF DALMASCA!!
Final Fantasy Tactics
You have 26 main cows, 83 secondary cows, and several hundred other cows, all of whose names you need to learn in the first chapter. Every cow is using and being manipulated by at least eight other cows. The cows all worship St. Ajora. You turn your enemy's cows into slowed stopped powerless magicless chicken frogs, steal their items, and then hit your own cows for experience.
Final Fantasy Tactics (2)
Thanks to two cows, we were successful!
Final Fantasy Tactics (3)
You have a party of cows. Wiegraf pwns you, since you failed to obtain Chameleon Robe/Feather Boots/Yell. And you have no save point to go back to. You still have a party of cows that are waiting to help you on command, but you are dead.
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance
You have two cows. The laws forbid that you have the two cows. Judges arrest you and you are sent to jail.
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance (2)
You have two cows. New cow seeks membership in the herd! Welcome cow to herd? The cow left crying.
Final Fantasy
You have two cows. Only one cow was released in America because the company executives underestimated the popularity of cows in the American market.
Final Fantasy (2)
No one touches my two cows!! MILK WARRIORS?? You impertinent fools. I, Garland, will knock all your cows down!!
Final Fantasy IV
YOU SPOONY COW! SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
Final Fantasy V
You have two cows. They control the void.
Final Fantasy V (2)
You have two cows, you change their classes using the power of the crystals, teach them all $toss and wtfpwn the final boss.
Final Fantasy VI
You have two cows. You put one in a test tube and drain all its energy, making it suffer, and you kill the other and suck its energy after it died. You compare your results, discover that the second test worked better, and eat a nice, steak dinner.
Final Fantasy VI (2)
AHEM! There's SAND on my TWO COWS!
Final Fantasy VI (3)
You have two cows. Kefka Kills Your Cows BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!.
Final Fantasy VI (4)
You pitiful two cows! You sound like cows out of a self help booklet!
Final Fantasy VII
You have two cows. Their milk is the energy that keeps the Planet alive.
Final Fantasy VII (2)
You have two cows. Masses of fanboys come and trample them.
Final Fantasy VII (3)
You have two cows. Theyre Basically just Cubes With Sticks For Legs.
Final Fantasy VII (4)
You see that cow? To you, it looks like an ordinary cow. But I see a golden shiny cow of hope.
Final Fantasy VII (5)
Sit your two cows asses down in those chairs and drink some goddamn MILK!
Final Fantasy VII (6)
You have two cows. One of them dies, but everybody around the world thinks you can revive it somehow.
Final Fantasy VIII
You have two cows. ...whatever.
Final Fantasy VIII (2)
You have two cows. One exists in the present, and the other exists in the future and possesses the present cow. You come to realize they are actually the same cow, but you kill the future one anyway.
Final Fantasy IX
You have two cows. They have a mission to disrupt the life cycle of the cow.
Final Fantasy IX (2)
You have two cows. Do they have tasty munchies?
Final Fantasy X
You have two cows. One of them is just a dream. The other has been dead the entire game.
Final Fantasy X (2)
You have two cows. Sin kills them for using machina.
Final Fantasy XI
You start the game and are given two cows. You find out that it takes roughly 1 million cows to level up and roughly 5 million cows to get decent equipment. You quit the game in a day, finding out that only 10 people on your server have this many cows.
Final Fantasy XI (2)
You sell cows and speak poor English. Everyone hates you.
Final Fantasy X-2
Shinra tells you you have two cows. He doesn't know what that means because he's just a kid. People are dancing.
Final Fantasy X-2 (2)
You have two cows. One wants to destroy the world using Vegnacow, and the other has been comatose underwater all this time.
Final Fantasy XII
You have two cows. Unfortunately, you don't have the license to use two cows.
Final Fantasy XII (2)
You have two cows. One tells only lies, and the other is BASCH FON RONSENBURG OF DALMASCA!!
Final Fantasy Tactics
You have 26 main cows, 83 secondary cows, and several hundred other cows, all of whose names you need to learn in the first chapter. Every cow is using and being manipulated by at least eight other cows. The cows all worship St. Ajora. You turn your enemy's cows into slowed stopped powerless magicless chicken frogs, steal their items, and then hit your own cows for experience.
Final Fantasy Tactics (2)
Thanks to two cows, we were successful!
Final Fantasy Tactics (3)
You have a party of cows. Wiegraf pwns you, since you failed to obtain Chameleon Robe/Feather Boots/Yell. And you have no save point to go back to. You still have a party of cows that are waiting to help you on command, but you are dead.
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance
You have two cows. The laws forbid that you have the two cows. Judges arrest you and you are sent to jail.
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance (2)
You have two cows. New cow seeks membership in the herd! Welcome cow to herd? The cow left crying.
Drai- New User
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Number of posts : 31
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Registration date : 2008-07-17
Re: You have two cows...
Savior of the Damned Fri Aug 01, 2008 2:27 am
lol interesting 
I don't know people these days
I don't know people these days
Savior of the Damned- Admin
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Larc- New User
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Age : 36
Location : Indonesia
Registration date : 2008-07-25
Re: You have two cows...
Drai Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:39 am
They have an entire "two cows" section, with TV shows, etc. etc. etc.
Maybe one of the makers decided he was bored counting sheep to fall asleep, counted cows instead, and decided at two that he just had a great idea.
Maybe one of the makers decided he was bored counting sheep to fall asleep, counted cows instead, and decided at two that he just had a great idea.
Drai- New User
- Number of posts : 31
Age : 33
Location : Tübingen, Baden-Würtemberg, Germany, EU, Europe, Euroasian Continent, Northern Hemisphere, Earth's C
Registration date : 2008-07-17
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